


I Caught Fire (in Your Eyes)

by BeccaBear93



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, M/M, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 07:35:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5576893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccaBear93/pseuds/BeccaBear93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where Simon isn’t the prophesied hero and doesn’t have uncontrollable power, and he and Baz aren’t roommates or enemies. Also, they might be slight pyros.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's still technically December, right? ...Err... Sorry about the wait, guys. This month has been... crazy, to say the least. It's here though, and there are several more on the way!
> 
> I don’t know why I wanted to write this, I just did. I wanted to be able to include something centered around the infamous “you’re flammable” line, I guess. And then, when I thought of that, I wanted to write about someone having my habit—I’m not a smoker, but I love collecting and messing with lighters. Yeah, I’m weird.
> 
> I feel like a lot of things would have been different between Simon and Baz if they didn’t feel like they were destined to kill each other. In other words, this is my excuse to write a cliché sappy teen romance. Turn back now if you don’t like that idea.
> 
> Also, I feel like I should give a warning here, just in case some people forget. “Fag” = “cigarette.” This word is in the fic, but I do not ever intend to use it as a homophobic slur. I actually felt extremely uncomfortable with how many times I had to write it, honestly, which is strange because it never bothers me to read it in other people’s works.
> 
> Title from a song by The Used, because I am unoriginal and hate coming up with titles.

**Baz:**

Snow and I met under… interesting circumstances.

He was taking a walk through the woods with his girlfriend, perfect Wellbelove. When she broke up with him, he got upset and wandered off.

He wandered straight to where I was feeding on a rabbit.

Needless to say, he freaked out. Somehow, though, I managed to convince him not to go to the Mage. In fact, after we talked for a few minutes, he seemed much more intrigued by my fangs than terrified.

I didn’t see him again for about five months. Then, at the beginning of our last year at Watford, we were thrown into three different classes together. Snow recognized me immediately, though he waited to catch me until after class.

When we were away from the crowds of students, he burst out, “Hey! I didn’t expect to have classes with you, Vampire Boy! I didn’t even know we were in the same year!”

“I have a name,” I grit out, glancing around to make sure nobody was in hearing range.

“Well, you never told me it.”

That’s right. He introduced himself, but I never did the same, did I?

“Baz.”

“Nice to meet you, Baz,” he said, sticking his hand out. I raised an eyebrow, but shook it. How could anyone be so friendly, especially when he _knows_ I’m a dark creature? When I voiced the thought, he just laughed. “Well, you don’t drink from humans, do you?”

“You don’t know that. You saw me draining one rabbit. That doesn’t mean anything. I could drink from humans all the time.” Did I _want_ him to hate me? Maybe.

“But you don’t, do you?” he repeated with a knowing smile.

I sighed in resignation. “No, no I don’t.”

“I knew it. And that’s why I’m not scared. You’re obviously not a monster, just a boy who… happens to drink blood sometimes,” he said with a laugh.

And that was the beginning of everything.


	2. Chapter 2

**Baz:**

I lean against the wall and take a puff from my fag, closing my eyes. When I open them again, Snow is there, plopping down on the ground. We don’t talk much, but for some reason, I’m not surprised to see him there.

Snow raises an eyebrow at me. “You’re flammable,” he reminds me. As if I could ever forget.

“So are you,” I say, gesturing to where he’s flicking a lighter off and on.

His cheeks color, and he shoves it back into his pocket. “Not as much as you, though,” he answers.

“Fair point.” I don’t put it out, though. I slide down the wall to sit next to him. “You smoke, then?” I ask. I wouldn’t have expected it from him.

Snow laughs. “No. I just like fire.”

“You’re a pyro, then.”

“No!” he says indignantly. “I wouldn’t light up a building or anything! I just like playing with fire.”

“Definitely a pyro,” I tease. He sticks his bottom lip out in a pout. For a moment, I imagine myself biting it. I shake the thought away.

I take another drag, and when I exhale, the wind blows the smoke towards Snow. He makes a face and tries to wave it away. “That really is a terrible habit. You should quit.”

“Why?” I ask, smirking. “It won’t kill me.”

“Unless you set yourself on fire,” he mutters.

“I could catch fire just as easily from cooking as I could from smoking. You’re not going to tell me to quit _that_ , are you?” I retort.

Snow just shakes his head in exasperation, but I can tell he’s trying not to laugh. He drops the argument, and we sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes. When I finish my fag, I put it out on the sidewalk and climb to my feet.

Snow looks up at me, squinting against the sun. “Leaving so soon?” he jokes.

I nod. “I’ll see you in Greek.” Snow groans at the reminder of the class, making me laugh as I walk away.

\-----

In Greek, we’re told to partner up for an easy day of practice and quizzing each other. I’m pretty sure the Minotaur was just too lazy to come up with a lesson plan, but nobody seems to be against this turn of events.

I’ve noticed from other classes that Snow and Bunce are inseparable, but she isn’t in this one. I glance back at Snow, just out of curiosity about who he’ll partner with. He catches me looking, though, and bounds over to sit next to me.

“You’ll be my partner today, right, Baz?” he asks, but it doesn’t actually sound like a question. I don’t think I really have a choice in the matter.

“Sure…” I drawl. I can’t puzzle him out. Why does he keep coming to me? The only answer I can come up with is that he’s interested in my vampirism.

“Great!” Snow says with a smile. Looking down at his notes, he continues, “Umm… I’ll test you first, okay?”

I shrug and lean back in my seat. “Fine with me.”

I’m good with languages, and I prove it until Snow’s head drops to his desk 15 minutes later. “How do you remember all these words, much less pronounce them?”

“Not good with Greek?” I ask, snickering. I’ve heard his spellwork; I already know he isn’t.

“More like not good with words in general,” he groans, voice muffled by the desk.

“I could help you,” I suggest. I don’t know what makes me say it.

Snow turns to look at me, lifting his head just a bit. “Really…?” he asks, cautiously, like I might change my mind and take it back. I nod, and he suddenly beams at me, sitting upright again. My heart skips a beat. “Thank you so much, Baz!”

“Sure. We should probably get back to work for now, though. Besides, when this is over, I’ll know what level you’re really starting at.” He pouts, but doesn’t object.

In another 15 minutes, he’s glaring at me, and I’m nearly in hysterics. “That was horrendous, Snow! This is even worse than I thought!”

“Thanks for rubbing it in,” he mutters. “I told you I was bad.”

Seeing that he seems genuinely upset, I try to calm myself down. Once I’ve finished laughing, I clap him on the shoulder. “I _will_ help you. In all seriousness, though, how do you even manage to do magic?”

Snow flushes. “I avoid it whenever I can. My friend Penny does whatever spells she can for me. When I try, I usually mess up even simple things.”

He seems so embarrassed that I squeeze his shoulder in the easiest show of comfort I can. When I realize that my hand’s been there too long, I jerk away and settle it back on my lap. Snow doesn’t seem to notice, luckily. “Soon enough, we’ll have you getting every spell right.” I don’t know how I’ll manage it when his teachers haven’t in seven years, but I’m sure I can find a way. I’m resourceful.

“Thanks, Baz,” he says, though he seems doubtful.

I glance at the clock on the wall. There are still ten minutes left of class. I move my chair closer to Snow’s so I can point out areas in his notes where he’s misunderstanding things or missing them entirely. “Well, we might as well get started now…”

\-----

At dinner, I manage to stay focused enough to have a decent conversation with Dev and Niall, but I keep finding myself watching Snow. At one point, I look up and catch him staring at _me_ , but he immediately turns away.

\-----

**Simon:**

When Baz catches my eye, I jerk my head back around to focus on my food. I can feel the heat crawling up the back of my neck.

Penny sighs, turning to try and figure out what I was looking at. Some part of me is screaming to stop her from looking, but why shouldn’t she?

“What is so interesting over there, Simon? Am I missing something?”

I shake my head. “It’s nothing, Penny. Don’t worry about it.” I can tell from the look she gives me that she doesn’t believe me, but I don’t have a real answer for her. What would I say? ‘I just can’t stop staring at this guy I met the day Agatha dumped me. Oh, and he’s a vampire.’ I’m sure that would go over well.

Thankfully, Penny lets it go. I finish my sour cherry scone, and she automatically passes me another. “How did classes go today?” she asks. I’ve been struggling more than ever this year, and I think she’s concerned that I might not graduate. I’m not as worried as she is, because I wouldn’t really mind having to stay at Watford an extra year.

This might be a safe way to bring up Baz, though. I shrug as nonchalantly as possible. “Pretty much the same as always. I found a Greek tutor, though.”

Penny blinks. She’s tried to help me before, and it kind of worked, but not enough. I’ve never tried to ask anyone else, because Penny is the smartest person I know. If she can’t help me, I doubt anyone can. Baz offered to try though, and I wasn’t going to turn him down.

After a few seconds, Penny speaks up. “Oh? Who is it?”

“Baz. He’s in our Political Science and Magic Words classes. Do you remember him?” Evidently she does, because her eyes darken at the sound of his name. That’s interesting.

“Yes, I do. He’s my only competition for the top spot. I won’t lie; I’m a little annoyed that you would go to him, but… Well, if anyone can help you, it’s him,” she admits.

“I had no idea,” I say. I feel a little guilty now, like I somehow betrayed Penny. It sounds like she has a bit of a rivalry with Baz.

She just laughs, though. “Of course you didn’t. You never pay any attention to the rankings.” She notices my newly empty plate and pushes a huge bowl of mashed potatoes towards me. “Come on, you need to eat some more,” she says. Penny is always trying to fatten me up, especially at the beginning of each year. I don’t mind at all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the chapter splits are weird. I wrote this all as one big document, but I felt like it should be split up somehow. Figuring out where to separate the chapters is difficult, though.

**Simon:**

When I spot Baz lingering behind the Weeping Tower nearly a week later, smoking, I head straight for him. I was going to the library, but I’m not in a rush. I can afford to detour for a few minutes.

“You’re flammable,” I say with a grin as I walk up behind him. I’m a little disappointed when he doesn’t jump.

“Hello to you, too, Snow,” Baz says, turning around with one eyebrow raised. He lifts the fag back to his lips and inhales deeply. I cringe a bit but don’t mention it again. It really isn’t my business what he does to his lungs, and I’m not even sure they would have an effect on him anyways.

“Call me Simon,” I say instead.

“Alright,” he answers, looking slightly amused.

I pull a red lighter out of my pocket, and he laughs but doesn’t say anything. I mess with my lighter more than usual when I’m with Baz. Something about being around him makes me antsy, especially when he’s smoking.

“Any specific reason you came over here, Snow?” he asks. “I assume you don’t usually hang out in the shadow of the tower for no reason.”

“Simon,” I remind him, but I don’t have a real answer to his question. I shrug.

“Use your words, Snow,” Baz says, smirking. I flip him off, and he laughs. “You know, you’ll have to actually _speak_ if you want to improve your spellwork.

I glare at him but can’t keep it up for long, since I’m not really mad. “Speaking of which, when do you want to start working on that?”

Baz looks surprised. “I thought maybe you had changed your mind and didn’t want to,” he says. I can understand why; I haven’t actually talked to him in a few days.

“No, I still definitely need help with my Greek work,” I say, turning my attention to my lighter as I flick it on again. The flame sputters out and doesn’t come back when I try to flick it a few more times. I’ll have to remember to grab another one when I go back to my room.

“Well, are you busy now?” Baz asks.

I consider it. All I was going to do was study for another subject, so going with him would be just as good of a use of my time. “Nope, I’m free.”

“Great, let’s go, then.” He tosses his fag on the ground and puts it out under his shoe. It makes me nervous for some reason.

“Alright. I just need to grab my notes first.”

Baz walks with me back to my room. My roommate isn’t there, luckily. I grab everything I need, along with another lighter. I try to be sneaky about it, shoving a blue one in my pocket as quickly as possible, but he notices immediately. “May I?” he asks, not waiting for an answer before he starts digging through the little plastic bin. “You have a whole bloody rainbow in here!”

I know he’ll make fun of me, but for some reason, I still admit, “I have even more than that.” I open my desk drawer and grab another bin. The first was full of plain ones, but this one has a lot with special designs that I like to collect but rarely use.

I hand the container to Baz, and he picks up and examines one with a snake, then a Gemini sign, and finally an intertwined sun and moon. Surprisingly, all he has to say is, “Nice collection.” I can’t tell whether he’s being sarcastic or not. He passes the basket back to me and I put it away.

We leave the room and start climbing the stairs to his. We keep going, and going, and going. We finally reach the top, and there’s a single door in front of us. I turn to Baz, gaping. “You got the room at the top of the tower?”

He smirks. “All to myself, too. I guess there were an uneven number of boys first year, and I was lucky enough to be the lone one. Or maybe the Mage just rigged it because he didn’t trust me to be left alone with anyone else,” he says, looking bitter. Talking to Baz lately, I’ve noticed that’s a recurring theme. He definitely doesn’t like the Mage. It makes me a little uncomfortable sometimes. I owe a lot to the Mage; he discovered my magic and brought me to Watford. I might never have figured it out on my own, and I certainly wouldn’t have ended up here.

Baz holds the door open and follows me in. The room feels bigger than the others, but I’m not sure if it actually is, or if it just seems that way because there aren’t two people’s belongings crammed into it. The view is amazing, too. I can see over the gates, straight to the football pitch and the Wavering Wood. When I’m done looking around, I stand in the middle of the room awkwardly. I don’t know where to sit. He just sits on his bed and laughs, gesturing to the desk in the corner. “You can sit here, or you can bring that desk chair over.”

I drag it closer and sit down, and we start going over everything.

“Alright, let’s start with something simple: conjugations.”

“That’s supposed to be simple?” I ask, already despairing.

We flip the notebook back and forth so we don’t have to look at it upside down or sideways. After a while it’s just annoying, though, so I slide off the chair and onto the bed next to him. We’re close enough that our legs are pressed together, and I want to move away. I don’t know why, though. That would probably be weird, right?

I stay where I am.

\-----

**Baz:**

It’s taking all of my energy to stay focused on tutoring Snow. His thigh is warm against mine, and his scent is overpowering from this close. He smells like burning wood. And he keeps tilting his head every time he gets confused, baring his neck.

I haven’t fed in nearly three days. I’m so damn hungry, and Snow looks so good. I know he’s not doing it on purpose, but I wish he would stop taunting me the way he is. Does he have no sense of self-preservation whatsoever? He _knows_ what I am!

“Are you alright?” Snow asks, doing that damn head tilt again. My eyes snap up to his, and I realize that I’ve been completely spaced out, staring at his throat. His eyes are blue. I never noticed before. I think I must have avoided looking at them until now, and for good reason. I feel like I’m drowning in them just as much as I was drowning in his scent and the thought of his blood.

“Fine,” I lie, bouncing my knee.

“Are you sure? You look kind of pale.” I give him a flat look, and he blushes to the tips of his ears. “Sorry. I forgot,” he mutters.

“I’m fine,” I repeat in a tone that I hope will stop him from asking any more questions.

Snow looks skeptical but drops the subject. He turns back to the page we’ve been working on, and a bronze curl falls out of place. I dig my nails into my palms to stop myself from pushing it back.

\-----

**Simon:**

We’re working on a worksheet when Baz suddenly stands up. The bed moves with the sudden shift in weight, and I blink up at him.

“We should end here for today,” he says through gritted teeth.

“Are you sure? We were right in the middle of--”

“I’m sure.”

“Okay then…” Usually if I make him mad, it’s on purpose, but this time, I can’t even figure out what I’ve done wrong. I stand up and gather my things. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then…?”

“Sure,” Baz says. He opens the door and I start back down the stairs, still confused. I expect him to close it behind me, but he leaves, too.

I stop at my floor and he continues on. After debating with myself for a few moments, I follow him outside. He’s walking quickly, with purpose, and I lose him just a few meters into the woods. While I look for any sign of where he went, I finally get it. He’s hunting.

Oh. I remember the way that he was staring at my neck and feel terrible. I wasn’t provoking him on purpose, but I wasn’t considering it, either. Baz doesn’t drink from humans, so I guess I never even thought about the fact that he might be _tempted_ to.

I consider going back to Mummers House and leaving him alone, but something stops me. I stay where I am, and after a few minutes, Baz stumbles into view. He looks surprised to see me; he must have not been paying much attention.

He hurriedly wipes the last bit of blood from around his mouth. “What are you doing here?” he asks nervously.

“Calm down,” I say, holding my hands up. “I already know.”

Baz hides his mouth behind his sleeve. “That doesn’t mean I want you to see it.” His mouth sounds full. Is he actually…eating whatever animal he just went after? I ask him, and he shakes his head, eyebrows scrunching up. “I just drain them. Why would you think that?”

“You’re… talking kind of funny. It sounds like your mouth is full.”

“Oh.” He glances around to make sure we’re alone, and slowly lowers his hand. I step closer, and he opens his mouth. It’s filled with fangs.

“Right… I forgot that happens.” I saw them, the day we first met, but I was a little shocked. The main thing I remembered from that day was just that he was, in fact, a vampire.

Baz covers his mouth again, but I pull his hand away. When he gives me a confused look, I reach towards his face. “Can I touch them?”

Suddenly, he jerks away, out of my reach. “They’re toxic, Simon! It could kill you! Or Turn you!” He pauses for a moment, then admits, “I don’t actually know how these things work. There isn’t exactly an instruction manual, and I’ve never bitten a human.”

My first urge is to point out that he called me by my first name finally, but I know that now isn’t the time. I step closer to Baz again and grab his arm. “It’s okay. I’m sorry I asked. I had no idea.”

“It’s not your fault, Snow.”

“It’s not yours either. Like you said, you’ve never bitten a human. You’re doing the best you can, and you just stopped me from being an idiot and hurting myself, so…” I shrug. “I’d say you’re doing pretty well, all things considered. It isn’t your fault that you got Turned, and you’re fighting it all the time.” I know it isn’t his fault. I’m pretty sure I know when it happened. Everyone has heard the stories about that day, though they don’t include the fact that the little Pitch boy was Turned. It’s amazing how long he’s managed to keep it hidden.

Baz scoffs and holds out his blood-stained hand. “Does this look like ‘fighting it’ to you?” he asks.

“It does. It looks like you _need_ blood to survive. It looks like you’re killing animals for sustenance, the way most people do.”

Baz drops his head and sighs. “You’re stubborn, I’ll give you that. It’ll take more than a few pep talks to make me believe that I’m not _wrong_ , but… Thank you, for trying.”

Suddenly, I remember why I actually came out in the first place. “I’m sorry,” I say, cringing a bit. I’m not sure how to word this, especially since I’m not sure that my hunch is right. I’m not sure I actually did anything wrong. I try anyways. “If I was… distracting. I wasn’t doing it on purpose.”

He mutters something under his breath. A bit louder, he says, “I know you weren’t, Snow. I was just… thirsty.”

“You called me Simon before,” I say. Now seems like a better time to try to lighten the mood.

“No I didn’t,” he insists, but I know I’m right. Apparently he can blush after he’s just fed. It gives him away.

“Yes you did. What did you say, before? I couldn’t hear the first part.”

\-----

**Baz:**

“You still are distracting, in more ways than one.”

That’s what I said before.

I don’t tell him that.

“Nothing, Snow. It doesn’t matter.”

“Okay, if you’re sure,” he says. He hesitates. “Do you want to go back now?”

I shrug. “If it’s alright with you, I think we should leave it for another day.” I’m sure that I can control the urge to bite him now, to taste the blood pumping right under his skin. It will always be a temptation; it is with every person, but it’s stronger with Snow. I know I can resist that temptation so long as I’m not starving anymore, though.

It’s the other impulses I’m worried about. I’m not so sure I can resist the urges to find any excuse to touch him, to take his bottom lip between mine when he pouts, to feel his heart beat hard and fast and know that I made it happen. I don’t trust myself to not give myself away, or to not scare him away.

I have been falling hard and fast for Simon Snow since the day I met him.

I just didn’t realize it until it was too late to stop. Until I realized that my eyes were straying to him during every lesson and every meal. Until I realized that I had started picking up on all his little habits. Until I realized that it was impossible for him to sneak up on me because I could pinpoint his scent from 100 meters away. Until I realized that I was dreaming of blue eyes and bronze curls.

“I think I need a break,” I say, forcing a smile for him.

“Okay,” Snow agrees. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Go back to Mummers. I need to… wash up in the river first. I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”

“Sure,” Snow says. It might be my imagination, but he looks a bit disappointed. He leaves, though. My eyes follow his back until it’s out of sight. Then I turn and head for the river, deeper in the woods. I wash the blood off of my mouth and hands, but it’s a bit harder to get off my sleeve. I should have known better than to bring my clothes anywhere near my mouth after feeding. Still, I manage to get it to fade to a light pink before I make my way back to my room.

When I walk in the door, I barely resist the urge to slam it behind me. Then I fall onto my bed. After a minute, I roll onto my back, staring at the ceiling.

How did I dig myself so deep, so quickly?


	4. Chapter 4

**Simon:**

I don’t go back to my room. Instead, I head for Penny’s. I can’t get into the Cloisters, though, and we aren’t allowed to have mobiles at Watford. I end up having to wait outside for nearly half an hour until a girl going in agrees to get Penny for me.

It’s worth the wait. I’ve never been good at hiding things from her, and it feels like a physical itch under my skin when I try to. I hate it, and I need to talk to someone about this now. Who better to tell than my best friend?

\-----

**Penelope:**

“What’s wrong?” I ask as soon as I step outside and see Simon.

“Why do you assume something’s wrong?” he asks, swallowing.

“I know you, Simon, and I know that if it wasn’t something important, then you would just wait until breakfast tomorrow to tell me.”

He shrugs. “It isn’t exactly that something’s wrong… I’ve just been keeping a secret from you, and I don’t like it.”

I feel a sharp sting. “I thought we had a pact. No secrets.”

“I know. I’m sorry, Penny. It’s stupid.”

I’m still a bit hurt, but I’ve suspected that he was hiding something for a while now. I’m mostly just glad that he’s finally decided to confide in me. “Alright, you’re forgiven. What is it?”

“Not here,” he says, glancing around. “We should go back to my room, where nobody will overhear.”

“Isn’t Rhys there?” I ask.

Simon checks his watch and sighs. “You’re right. He’s probably back by now. Okay… How about White Chapel?”

I nod. “It should be empty this late.”

We head for the chapel. Simon stares at the “hidden” door. We sit down in one of the pews, but he looks hesitant to start talking.

“What is it?” I urge him on.

He takes a deep breath, then let’s out all at once, “Baz is a vampire.”

I laugh. “Very funny, Simon.”

“I’m serious!” he insists. “Baz is a vampire, but… a good one.”

“Okay, ignoring the idea of a ‘good vampire’ for a moment, why do you think he’s a vampire? Do you have any proof?”

Simon laughs. “I caught him drinking blood from a rabbit. He himself admitted what he is!”

“Okay…” It’s hard to deny the logic, if Baz admitted it and was caught drinking blood. “You need to stay away from him, then.” I stand up and take Simon’s hand. “We need to go tell the Mage.”

“No!” Simon bursts out, pulling me back. “I told you, he’s good! None of us are in danger!”

“How do you know that, Simon? Vampires are dark creatures! They are _murderers_!”

“Baz isn’t!” he insists.

He looks so earnest that I sit back down with a sigh. “Okay, I’m listening. Convince me.”

“He only drinks from animals,” Simon says. “He’s never hurt a human, and he doesn’t ever want to!” He pauses for a moment, then says, lower, “Besides, I think the Mage already knows… Baz said that he thought the Mage believed he might be a threat to other students, and that’s why he got a room to himself. If that’s true, that would mean that he already knew Baz was a vampire and let him into Watford anyways.”

Simon looks a little confused, like he’s trying to put the pieces together and solve a puzzle. I can relate. At least Simon _has_ the pieces. I’m just going on what little he’s told me.

“So Baz says that he’s never hurt a human and never will. Do you really think you can believe him? He wouldn’t tell the truth about it if he was killing people, Simon!”

He just raises an eyebrow at me. “I was alone with him for several hours today, in my room, in his, and in the woods. He was hungry enough that he had to run out in the middle of our study session to feed. He had plenty of chances to hurt me. If he wanted to, don’t you think he would have?”

I cross my arms, hunching a bit. I don’t know _what_ to think. All I know is that there’s a lot I _don’t_ know. For example, “Why do you care so much? Why don’t you want to turn Baz in?”

“Because he didn’t _choose_ to be like this, Penny! He was just a kid when he was Turned! Because he doesn’t deserve whatever might happen to him if we go to the Mage! Because, in some weird way, I think we’re friends now!”

We sit in silence for a few minutes while I try to sort through my thoughts. I don’t want Simon to be in danger, but I also don’t want to betray his trust. “Alright,” I finally agree. “I won’t go to the Mage. But I don’t trust Baz, either. I don’t want you to be alone with him until I figure this out.”

Simon looks upset, but nods. “I guess that means I should cancel our tutoring sessions, then,” he says with a small laugh.

Why do I have to care so much when he’s unhappy?

I shake my head. “You don’t have to cancel them if you don’t want to. Just… tell him you want to make it a study _group_. I’ll come with you.”

He beams at me. “Thanks, Penny!” He hugs me and stands up, glancing out one of the stained glass windows. “We should get going before curfew.”

I stand as well, but grab his wrist. “And Simon?”

He turns back to me, head tilted. “Yeah?”

“Please don’t keep secrets from me anymore. Especially something as big as this. You’ll make me worry.”

His smile fades to something smaller and fonder. “I promise I won’t, Penny. Or at least, that I won’t do it on purpose. I can’t guarantee I won’t forget to tell you something, though.”

“I know you can’t. You have terrible memory,” I say, patting his arm and laughing when he makes a noise of indignation.


	5. Chapter 5

**Baz:**

Snow looks nervous when he approaches me before Political Science the next day. He won’t meet my eyes, but that’s probably better for me, honestly.

“Hey, Baz, ummm…” he drifts off, growling quietly. I try to hide my smile at the sound.

“Use your words, Snow,” I remind him with a smirk.

He glares at me and turns to Bunce for a moment. I glance at her out of the corner of my eye. She nods and smiles at him. “Penny wanted to know if she could join us today, and we could maybe make it a study group.”

I side-eye Bunce again. She’s observing me carefully. I don’t know what reaction she’s looking for, but she won’t get it. I give Snow a lazy smile and a one-armed shrug. “Sure. It could be interesting to get her opinion on a few things.”

“Great!” he says with a grin. “We’ll see you then! Do you want to just do it in your room again?”

I blink at Snow slowly, waiting for him to see the flaw in that plan. When he just stares blankly at me, I roll my eyes. “Bunce can’t really do that, can she? We’ll have to go somewhere else.”

He chuckles and rubs at the back of his neck. “Aha, well… You see… She actually can, if you want to stay there. She won’t tell me how she does it, but Penny can get into the boys’ dorms. She can get through the wards whenever she wants, somehow.”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “That’s definitely… interesting. I don’t think we should encourage it, though. Let’s just study at the library today.” I don’t want Bunce in my room. She’s too observant. Who knows what she might be able to figure out from what little I leave out?

“If you say so,” Snow answers with a shrug. Then he heads back to his table to inform his friend of the plan. She looks surprised.

“Really? He wanted to go to a _more_ public place?” she asks disbelievingly. I’m glad she doesn’t know about my superior hearing. Why _wouldn’t_ I want to study somewhere public, though?

\-----

**Penelope:**

When we meet up that night, I can’t help but keep a close eye on Baz.

I’m not sure how I never suspected the truth before. Everything about him practically screams “stereotypical vampire.” The slicked-back black hair. The too-perfect cheekbones. The sly, sarcastic speech. Maybe I didn’t guess it because it’s _too_ obvious.

There are other things that I can’t help but notice, too. Like the way that Simon tries so hard to get Baz’s approval and make him proud. Like the way that Baz stares at his lips. Like the way that they “accidentally” bump into each other far too often but can’t meet each other’s eyes.

I’ll join them for a few more days, but I’m already fairly certain that even if Baz is dangerous, he’s no danger to Simon. Besides, I’m not sure how much longer I can stand to be around them. It’s almost sickening.

\-----

By the next week, I back out of our group. Neither of the boys seem particularly upset, though Simon makes a habit of telling me anything that happens when he’s with Baz, just to reassure me.

After about a month, he says that he’s getting used to Baz running out at random times. He also says that Baz is getting better about making sure that he’s fed before they meet, though. He says that Baz’s hair wasn’t slicked back one day, and it kept falling in his face and was pretty funny to see and—he cuts himself off there. He says that his grade in Greek is slowly but surely improving, and Baz is going to start tutoring him in other classes too. He says I’m welcome to join them again if I want.

I decline and resist the urge to mention his newfound obsession.


	6. Chapter 6

**Baz:**

“You’re making a habit of this,” I say when I smell Snow. He sighs in disappointment. I know he’s been trying to sneak up on me and scare me every chance he gets over the last two months. He hasn’t succeeded yet.

“Does it bother you?” he asks, and if I didn’t know better, I’d say he sounds self-conscious.

“No,” I answer. Then, laughing, “Which one do you have today?”

Snow rolls his eyes but laughs, holding up a lighter with an eagle on it.

“Oh? What’s the occasion?”

He looks surprised. “What?”

“You only bring out the ones with pictures when something special is happening. So, what is it?”

“I’m surprised you noticed that…” Oops. Maybe that’s one of those things someone who wasn’t obsessed with Simon Snow wouldn’t have noticed. Maybe it’s one of those things I shouldn’t have mentioned. He doesn’t dwell too long on it, though, oblivious as he is. “I aced my test today, thanks to your help.”

I can’t restrain the small smile. “Congratulations. I told you we’d manage.”

Snow nods. We stand quietly for a minute, and then he looks at me out of the corner of his eye. I can tell that he’s trying to hold back a smirk. “You should really put that out, you know. You’re flammable.”

I laugh and smack his shoulder. “You should really stop playing with fire,” I counter.

His eyes narrow. “You’re right, I really should…” he says, but it sounds like he’s talking to himself more than me.

“Well, are you ready to go?” I ask, putting my fag out against the wall.

“Sure,” he says, though it’s quiet and delayed, like he’s coming out of a trance. I wonder what he was thinking about so deeply.

We walk back to my room, close enough that our hands and shoulders keep bumping into each other. I barely resist the urge to just take his hand. These temptations have been growing stronger every day.

We sit next to each other on my bed, as usual, and look over his test. When I turn to Snow, he’s already staring at me, head tilted. I want to kiss him. It would be so easy. I’d only have to move a few centimeters; we’re already sitting so close. It’s so tempting.

I turn away.

“Okay, so on prob--”

“Hey, Baz?” Simon asks, cutting me off.

“Yes?” I turn back to him again, steeling myself.

And then he grabs my chin and kisses _me_. On pure instinct, I kiss back. It isn’t until he’s pushing me backwards onto my bed that I actually stop to register what the hell is happening. I gently push him away and sit back up.

“What was that?”

He’s blushing from his collar to the tips of his ears. “That was me kissing you,” he says, trying to fake bravado.

“Why?” I ask. I don’t want to hear that this was all some sick joke, or dare, or just plain curiosity.

“I don’t know,” he answers. “Because I wanted to. I shouldn’t have, huh? Why did I think you wanted that? I’m so sorry…”

I stop him before he can freak out anymore, putting my hands on his shoulders. “Simon, stop. I _did_ want it. I’ve wanted to kiss you for what feels like forever now. I just didn’t think you did.”

He gapes at me. “Of course I did! You’re gorgeous, and smart, and you’re basically fire incarnate. I was just trying to follow that advice of not playing with fire. And…” Snow hesitates. “I was nervous, because I never thought I’d be interested in a vampire, or a boy at all.”

I can’t hold back a small laugh. I feel completely giddy. It’s not exactly a feeling I’m used to. “Well, have you gotten past your nerves now?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. They’re still there, but… I’ve gotten past them enough to at least know that I want to kiss you again.”

And how could I possibly turn down that offer?

\-----

Simon doesn’t ever leave my room that night.

We don’t “sleep together.” He isn’t anywhere near being ready for that, and I’m not entirely sure I would be, either.

But we do _sleep_ together. I wake up to find his limbs wrapped around me and feel his heart beating against my back, and I feel more alive than I have in a very, very long time.

He wakes up about half an hour after I do. I know because there are suddenly very insistent lips pressed to the back of my neck, and then my ear, and then my cheek. I grin and oblige him, turning my head to catch his lips with my own.

“Good morning,” he says when he finally pulls away. I can only imagine my smile is as wide as his.

“Good morning.”

“What time is it?”

I peer over his shoulder at my clock. “Nine.”

“I guess it’s a good thing we don’t have classes today, huh?”

“I guess so.”

“I’m hungry. We should go get breakfast.”

“You’re always hungry,” I tease, but I’m already extracting myself from his arms and searching for clean clothes. I find some and turn to see Simon still in bed, watching me. I hold up the uniform. “Do you need to borrow some?”

“Sure,” he says, shrugging. I toss them to him, get another pair, and go to change in the bathroom.

When I come back out, I have trouble breathing for a moment. Simon is standing in the center of the room, looking at the mirror, wearing my clothes. The trousers are just a bit too long. The shoulders are just a bit too tight. He looks absolutely glorious, and I can’t wait to take him out into the world outside of this room. Will anyone notice that he’s not wearing his own clothes? Will anyone notice that we’re arriving at breakfast together?

I shake myself out of my thoughts and step up behind him, wrapping my arms around his middle. I kiss the mole on his neck. I feel like I’ve been waiting forever to do that, even if it’s really only been a few months. “You look good,” I say. It’s quite possibly the biggest understatement I’ve ever made.

“Thanks.”  He looks into the mirror a minute longer, staring at himself and at my head resting on his shoulder, then twists in my arms. He pecks me on the lips, then says, “Let’s go.”

As we walk across the school grounds, I can’t decide whether to take his hand or not. I want to, of course I do. But Simon only recently realized that there was even a chance he wasn’t straight. He probably wouldn’t want to advertise the fact that we’re together so quickly.

Actually, _are_ we even together? He said that he wanted to kiss me. He didn’t say that he wanted to be my boyfriend. Maybe I’ve just been misreading everything.

My thoughts quiet when Simon silently interlaces our fingers. I swallow, and we finish the walk together.

The moment we step through the cafeteria door, though, Bunce is beckoning him over. He looks to me questioningly, looking like he feels a little guilty. I shrug and drop his hand, gesturing him towards her. “I’ll see you later.” I mean for it to come out as a statement, as a goodbye. Instead, it sounds a bit like an insecure question.

Snow hears it for what it is. He nods. “Definitely.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Penelope:**

Simon rushes to sit at the table next to me. Before I can even get out a greeting, he says, “Baz and I are together!”

I laugh. “I was wondering when you would tell me. I thought we said no more secrets, Simon.”

He just looks confused. “I wasn’t keeping any secrets from you. I just told you!”

“You did _now_. But how long were you hiding it? You two have been all over each other and fumbling around trying to hide it for a while now.”

If anything, he just looks even more confused. “No we weren’t!” he insists. I look him up and down skeptically, pointing out his—or rather, Baz’s—clothes. Simon glances down and blushes. “Okay, yes, maybe we are now, but I just told you that!”

Finally, it starts to sink in. “Wait, are you telling me that you two _just_ got together? That you were dancing around each other that whole time?” I ask disbelievingly.

Simon leans back, looking like he wants to melt into his chair. “Was it that obvious?” he asks miserably.

“Entirely,” I assure him. “But only because I’m your best friend. To be honest, I thought you were together by the end of that week I spent studying with you. That’s why I left. It was sickening to be stuck between you lovesick fools,” I tease, sticking my tongue out. Simon just groans and hides his face in his hands.

“So what happened?” I ask. I’m not entirely sure that I _want_ to know, but I’m sure that he wants to talk about it, even if he tries to say that he doesn’t.

Simon shrugs. “We were just studying, and then I couldn’t stop looking at him, and then…” He shrugs again, looking uncomfortable. “I don’t know, I just kissed him. He was pretty surprised.”

“But he kissed back,” I assume. Simon nods, and I raise my eyebrows. “And now you’re wearing his clothes and coming to breakfast with him.”

He flushes and waves his hands in front of him. “It’s not like that! I just… stayed with him last night. We didn’t do anything, just slept. And I didn’t have a change of clothes.”

I know he’s telling the truth, but I hum skeptically anyways.

“Really!” Simon says, desperate to make me understand.

“I believe you, Simon” I say, laughing. “I just had to tease you a bit. After all, I apparently saw this coming long before you did.”

“How did you know?” he asks, covering his face.

“It just seemed obvious to me. You defended him so staunchly, and the two of you couldn’t keep your eyes—or hands—off of each other.” He looks up like he’s going to interrupt, but I quickly say, “Not like that. I don’t mean you were groping each other or anything. You just… I don’t know, you kept finding excuses to touch each other. Passing papers back and forth, a clap on the shoulder… I caught you rubbing his face once after dinner.”

Simon laughs. “That had nothing to do with it, I promise. Well, not really. When Baz eats,” he lowers his voice to a whisper, “his fangs come out. He won’t let me touch them, though. He says they’re poisonous. So I was just feeling them from the outside. It’s really weird, like his whole mouth has been filled with tiny knives.”

My face scrunches up. “How has nobody ever noticed, then? I mean, he eats three meals a day with the rest of us.”

Simon looks a bit sad. “He doesn’t, though. He might _be here_ for meals, but he isn’t really eating. He sneaks food back to his room to eat it.”

My expression softens. “Is that why you haven’t been coming to dinner lately?”

He nods. “I don’t want Baz to have to eat alone, so I try to join him for at least that one meal a day.”

Simon looks over to Baz’s table. He’s staring back at him. I wave like I’m shooing him away. “Go on, then. Go back to your boyfriend.”

Simon shakes his head, though. “I’m eating with you right now. I’ll be with Baz later; we have another study session tonight anyways. But I miss _you_ , Penny. We hardly talk lately. So what’s going on in your life?”

I can’t help but smile as I launch into my tale about Trixie’s newest method of driving me up the wall. Things are changing, but maybe that isn’t bad. And the important things, like Simon and me, will always stay the same.


	8. Chapter 8

**Simon:**

The moment I’m through the door, Baz practically launches himself at me. I laugh and kiss him. “What’s up?” I ask, wondering why he’s so excited.

He leans his head on my shoulder and laughs, too. “You kept them on all day,” he says.

 _Oh._ If this is the reward I get, maybe I’ll have to stay over more often and conveniently forget my clothes every time. “I didn’t even think about it,” I say honestly. “I don’t usually change in the middle of the day.”

“Good,” he says, kissing the mole above my eyebrow. In less than 24 hours, it’s already become very clear that my moles are his favorite targets. I kiss him again, but after a minute, Baz pulls away. “We should actually study,” he says, though he looks like he doesn’t really want to.

I nod and take a seat on his bed. Baz drags the chair closer and sits on it. “Why…?” I drift off. Why does he suddenly not want to be near me?

Baz runs a hand through his hair and looks away. “I’m not sure how well I can focus if we’re on my bed together,” he answers honestly, laughing awkwardly.

“Oh. Okay.” I can’t help the heat that rises on my face. It’s a little embarrassing, but also a little flattering, honestly.


	9. Chapter 9

**Simon:**

I think Baz actually _likes_ making me worry about him. The longer that we’re together, the riskier he gets. He keeps smoking, and he starts messing with my lighters nearly as much as I do. He starts showing off his fire magic, which is amazing, but also terrifying.

He starts disappearing in the middle of the night.

Finally, after a few weeks of waking up to Baz being gone, I wake up while he’s still sneaking out the door. I follow him as quietly as I can. We go to the chapel and through the door to the Catacombs. He leads me through twisting corridors, the walls covered in tombs and some loose bones littering the floor. The farther we go, the more rat carcasses I find. Finally, I catch up to him at a dead end.

Baz drops another rat’s mangled body and turns to me, trying to quickly wipe the blood from his face. He shrugs, “Now you know.”

“You knew I was following you,” I realize.

“Of course I knew,” he replies, laughing. “You aren’t as sneaky as you think, Snow. I could have heard your footsteps even if I wasn’t a vampire. And you should know by now that it’s impossible to sneak up on me.”

He’s right. I should know better by now. “Is this where you go every night? To hunt?”

Baz shrugs. “This is where I go, but it’s not always to hunt.” He pauses and takes a deep breath, gesturing to one wall. “My mother is down here. I visit her sometimes.”

I look to the wall he pointed out and it’s immediately obvious. There are fresh flowers gathered under one section of wall. I walk over and crouch down, trailing my fingers over the flowers and the stone slab. I feel like I should say something to her. I’m not sure what I would say or do; thank her for bringing Baz into this world, maybe? I know what I _should_ do; I should mourn for her. But I never knew her, and she died several years ago. I couldn’t if I tried. For a moment, I wonder if it would be the same if I found out my own mother was dead. Would I be unable to feel any sadness for her, because I never knew her?

I say nothing.

Instead, I stand up and walk back to Baz, hugging him. He tenses at first; I know he still doesn’t like me to be near him when he’s just fed. After a few moments, though, he relaxes. I can feel his jaw shrinking against the side of my face as he calms down. Finally, after standing in silence for several minutes, he lifts his arms to hug me back. “Thank you,” he whispers. I don’t know why he’s thanking me, but I don’t ask. I just hold him until he’s ready to go back.


	10. Epilogue

**Penelope:**

“Are you sure you’re okay with it?” Simon asks for what is quite possibly the millionth time.

“I’m sure, Simon. So long as you don’t have sex on the couch, it’s all completely fine. Now stop asking before you drive me insane!” Wisely, he finally shuts up and leaves the room.

Just a few minutes later, he’s back, looking sheepish. “Umm, Penny?” he asks, holding his tie up around his neck.

I sigh and take it from him. “Yes, I will tie your tie for you, Simon. You are absolutely hopeless; I hope you realize that.”

“Yes, I know,” he agrees. I think he’s just trying to suck up to me. I don’t understand why, though, since I’ve already made it entirely clear that I’m okay with everything he’s asked. I haven’t once said anything against it, but he keeps acting like I’ll take it back any second.

I finish up his tie with a laugh. “Go. Have a wonderful night.”

Simon tilts his head. “Aren’t you coming?” he asks. “You bought that dress and everything.”

“Oh, I’ll be there. I just won’t be going with you this time. Go and enjoy what might be your last night alone with Baz.”

He cringes at the thought and I laugh. “This was your idea,” I remind him.

“I know, I know.” He slips on his shoes, then turns back to me. “I’ll see you there?”

“Promise.”

And then he’s gone.

\-----

**Simon:**

Baz looks amazing in a suit. I always suspected as much, but I didn’t get to see it for myself before now.

He’s also great at dancing, but I can’t say the same for myself. Fortunately, I manage to convince him that he should only make me dance for one song. Even more fortunately, it’s a slow dance.

As we sway to the music, I look around. Nobody is watching us. Everyone got used to the sight of us together very quickly. There was never any commotion about us being gay. I’m thankful for that, because I’m still not actually sure that I _am_ gay.

I rest my head on his shoulder, swallowing nervously. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Simon.”

“Do you… Ahh,” I can’t bring myself to spit it out.

“Use your words, Snow,” Baz says, chuckling.

“Do you want to move in with Penny and me?” I rush out.

“Are you sure?” he asks. “I know you’ve been planning to move in with each other for years.”

“I’m sure. I don’t want to be away from you so soon, and I asked Penny more times than I count. She’s fine with it. I think she likes having you around, too.”

“She’s pretty good company herself.”

“So…?” I can’t help but worry. He’s avoiding the question.

“Of course I will, Simon.”

I kiss him happily and then look around. When I find Penny, I flash her a smile. She gives me a thumbs up. When the song is over, Baz and I join her.

“You look lovely, Penelope,” he says, all charm.

Penny smiles and fakes a curtsy. “Why thank you, Basilton.”

I laugh and throw my arms around their shoulders. “So, we’re finally leaving Watford. What do we do now?” I ask.

“We carry on, Simon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Sorry, I couldn't resist.


End file.
